I wish they would stop talking about me. I don’t like it when people talk about me. I just want to be left alone. I like being alone. I like it when nobody else is around. I like it when there is nobody to judge me. Just me, my thoughts, and God. I like solitude. I feel free when I’m on my own. I feel like I’m in a cage when there are other people here. I just want to be on my own.

I can’t even be in my own home without being judged by everyone. Home is where you are supposed to feel the most comfortable, but it is where I feel the most uncomfortable; at least, that is, when they are here. That’s probably why I’m gone so much. Your family is supposed to be accepting and caring. I don’t feel that. I don’t feel like I have a family, at least not the one that’s at my ‘home.’ My sister hates me for seemingly no reason, my brother is bent on turning me away from my Christ-centered views and lifestyle, and everyone else thinks I’m going over board with my Faith (including my mom who actually is Christian).

I don’t know who to talk to when I’m experiencing these problems because none of them seem to believe in what I believe. I don’t have anyone at home that I can turn to when I need help in my faith. So in that sense, I am alone.

I’m both alone and surrounded, and yet I want someone to abide in and also to be on my own….what a cruel irony.

Stop judging me and start helping me. All I want is a family. Maybe that’s what I should have put on my Christmas list this year….